Almost 3 yrs from the death of David West.........

by Lorri standley
(Glide ,Oregon. USA)

Well It is hard to believe that 3 yrs has almost come & gone since my brother David West was Killed By a Drunk Driver! IT will be our 3rd Thanksgiving w/out David.. We will once again have an empty seat. It is so hard to believe, the amount of time that has come and gone. It still feels like yesterday to me.. I can still remember the knock on my front door, the exact sound of it.. I can still feel the intensity of the pain after being told, I can still hear myself screaming No No No, not David, not my brother. Why? What happened? Some say that the pain lessons as time goes by, I have not found that to be true yet.. I do believe it has gotten to where I can wear it well in public! I don't believe my pain will ever truly go away for good, I may handle it differently but away, Never!!! I have fallen victim to the madness of a drunk and selfish driver who has NO regrets, none! It has left my life in a true depression, a sadness I can't even begin to explain, anger & unforgivingness that has started to rot me on the inside, I can feel it, My brothers senseless death has left me not even half the women I once was.. I am broken on the inside and i don't even have words for what you'd call me on the outside. I know I am not myself, no where even close to who I used to be. I do not know how to get at least a portion of the old me back!!! I cry in anger for the loss of my brother almost everyday, I do cry everyday for the loss of me!! I know my brother is safe in the lords hands, I just can't seem to let go of living his Death, Instead of living and celebrating the life he did get to live. I cry for my family who miss me, my kids for one! They have been so supportive to me through this nightmare.. I have grieved so hard and for so long I do not even know if my children have truly grieved and that hurts my heart.. Drunk driving destroys allot more then just the driver and the deceased, it kills a portion of what the family used to be, because no matter what the day, or the circumstances that person is always missing from the family circle.. It doesn't matter if it is year #1 or year # 20. The loss of your loved one is still LOST.!!! So be gentle on your friends & family no matter the year or years that their loved one has been gone, the pain still lingers.. I've gone 3 years and feel as if it's only been 3 months. I can still remember almost ever detail that I could from the day my brother David West was Killed...
David West 11-30-76 to 1-14-06, MY B'Day. What a great reminder of my brothers death, my B'day... I will never understand that one in a million years... Please be safe over the Holidays.. Dont Drink & Drive or Ride, It a killer.!!!!! Thank-you Lorri standley