Comments for DONT DRINK AND RIDE, IT'S DEADLY

Comments for
DONT DRINK AND RIDE, IT'S DEADLY

Apr 11, 2010

I'm sorry for all the families involved
by: D.Swajjian, Redding, Ca.

So you see : the driver of the other vehicle wasn't the only victim of my brothers that night. He killed the spirit of the other drivers family, the joy, the happy future memories of that other family were destroyed in an instant. He killed their pure innocent outlook on life - there will forever be a sadness in that family that my brothers split second decision put there and a thousand 'I'm sorries" will NEVER erase what he did.
He killed the spirit of my own family as well - my mother died with a broken heart, my nieces are being raised by a step father and my sister in law in another state, my father wont talk about it...the legal process devastated my parents financially. I miss my brother so much but the painful thoughts that the other family will never see their family member again kills me every day.
I think I'm rambling on a bit, my point is this...not to the families involved in this case - it is too late for it now - but to others who may by chance read this thread - take note of the common factor ; Anger and Sadness. When you pick up your keys after even having had ONE drink, please please please think twice. The consequences are far reaching....families are waiting for their loved ones to come home .... let them do it safely.
Stanley family, I pray for you...I pray that one day you will have peace one again in your heart, forgiveness may never come and that is completely understandable, your anger is apparent and sometimes our anger keeps us sane, God bless you...to the families of the other 2 boys involved, I pray for you too. I know from your standpoint the shame and devastation you feel. I know, too, you wish there was some way to make all of this right. Unfortunately what is done is done, but you can now serve others as a warning of what can happen when certain choices are made. God bless all of you, may you one day find peace and one day see your brother, son, friend waiting for you in heaven with open arms.

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Apr 11, 2010
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Submitted by: D.Swajjian, Redding, Ca.

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So you see : the driver of the other vehicle wasn't the only victim of my brothers that night. He killed the spirit of the other drivers family, the joy, the happy future memories of that other family were destroyed in an instant. He killed their pure innocent outlook on life - there will forever be a sadness in that family that my brothers split second decision put there and a thousand 'I'm sorries" will NEVER erase what he did. He killed the spirit of my own family as well - my mother died with a broken heart, my nieces are being raised by a step father and my sister in law in another state, my father wont talk about it...the legal process devastated my parents financially. I miss my brother so much but the painful thoughts that the other family will never see their family member again kills me every day. I think I'm rambling on a bit, my point is this...not to the families involved in this case - it is too late for it now - but to others who may by chance read this thread - take note of the common factor ; Anger and Sadness. When you pick up your keys after even having had ONE drink, please please please think twice. The consequences are far reaching....families are waiting for their loved ones to come home .... let them do it safely. Stanley family, I pray for you...I pray that one day you will have peace one again in your heart, forgiveness may never come and that is completely understandable, your anger is apparent and sometimes our anger keeps us sane, God bless you...to the families of the other 2 boys involved, I pray for you too. I know from your standpoint the shame and devastation you feel. I know, too, you wish there was some way to make all of this right. Unfortunately what is done is done, but you can now serve others as a warning of what can happen when certain choices are made. God bless all of you, may you one day find peace and one day see your brother, son, friend waiting for you in heaven with open arms.

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Apr 11, 2010

I'm sorry for all the families involved
by: D.Swajjian, Redding, Ca.

I came across this thread last week and its haunted me since. The tragic senseless losses of all families involved is heartbreaking. From the standpoint of the parents of the 3 boys involved in the accident, the heartbreak goes without saying and is far reaching. For the parents and siblings of the Stanley boy-the pain has to be daily, they must awaken each morning with a split second of peace and then reality crashes in again and again day after day. The loss of a family member in such a violent manner haunts one for the rest of their lives...a happy memory of that loved one turns to sadness within just a few moments of recalling happier times. I'm very very sorry for your loss. I too lost a loved one to drinking and driving. He was my brother and he, unfortunately was the driver, the repeat offender, the cause of the loss of a life while driving under the influence. He lives with his shameful memory of that night every day - in prison- as he should, safely taken away from the rest of society where he was unable to follow the rules. The anger you feel may or may not pass, in my families case its a mixed bag. My mother died recently, died a natural death but it was far from peaceful. Because of my brothers decision to drive that night-her shame and grief was deep. She spent her last year of life deep in depression, once a church going contributing woman-she became a type of recluse...her yard which she took so much joy in turned to weeds..it bespoke so much of what was going on inside her heart.
My brothers wife divorced him, relocated and remarried. Their 2 kids no longer know their father...the sadness at his sudden abandonment confuses them, the few times his wife was able to travel the distance to visit my brother became a nightmare when the kids begged him to come home...they didnt understand the circumstance, that he was locked up - so it seemed to them that he was somewhere he would rather be than with them. The absence of their dad and her husband, I suppose, finally tore them apart.
I can't talk to my dad about it, he hates my brother now, he sees this tragedy for what it has turned out to be....the circle of death my brother created that night he foolishly decided to drive once again, drunk. (continued in next thread)

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Apr 11, 2010
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Submitted by: D.Swajjian, Redding, Ca.

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I came across this thread last week and its haunted me since. The tragic senseless losses of all families involved is heartbreaking. From the standpoint of the parents of the 3 boys involved in the accident, the heartbreak goes without saying and is far reaching. For the parents and siblings of the Stanley boy-the pain has to be daily, they must awaken each morning with a split second of peace and then reality crashes in again and again day after day. The loss of a family member in such a violent manner haunts one for the rest of their lives...a happy memory of that loved one turns to sadness within just a few moments of recalling happier times. I'm very very sorry for your loss. I too lost a loved one to drinking and driving. He was my brother and he, unfortunately was the driver, the repeat offender, the cause of the loss of a life while driving under the influence. He lives with his shameful memory of that night every day - in prison- as he should, safely taken away from the rest of society where he was unable to follow the rules. The anger you feel may or may not pass, in my families case its a mixed bag. My mother died recently, died a natural death but it was far from peaceful. Because of my brothers decision to drive that night-her shame and grief was deep. She spent her last year of life deep in depression, once a church going contributing woman-she became a type of recluse...her yard which she took so much joy in turned to weeds..it bespoke so much of what was going on inside her heart. My brothers wife divorced him, relocated and remarried. Their 2 kids no longer know their father...the sadness at his sudden abandonment confuses them, the few times his wife was able to travel the distance to visit my brother became a nightmare when the kids begged him to come home...they didnt understand the circumstance, that he was locked up - so it seemed to them that he was somewhere he would rather be than with them. The absence of their dad and her husband, I suppose, finally tore them apart. I can't talk to my dad about it, he hates my brother now, he sees this tragedy for what it has turned out to be....the circle of death my brother created that night he foolishly decided to drive once again, drunk. (continued in next thread)

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Feb 09, 2010

unbelievable
by: Anonymous

who post a web site and then fights about the death of a loved one???? you know people around the world die everyday because of drug overdoses, drinking,some people out there dont have any of there family left.....so i would make sure you count your blessings as well as being a negative mean person....think about all the navy wives that lose there husbands....you people need to stop with the stupid bickering back and forth over your situation....im sorry but its kind of annoying to see someone say they care so much and are doing all these things....well how about go to haitti and help thousands of people that are suffering....so stop the brownie points with the whole you have done this and that...i dont know who you are and i dont want to. and im never going to look at one of your little post again cuz they look all the same. fighting back and forth...and telling someone you would never pray for them just tell what kind of person you are right there....unbelievable!

Apr 12, 2009

Don't drink and Ride, It's Deadly
by: Anonymous

To the anaymous writer who gave me a rude comment, for one I hope you got my 1st responce!!! @nd I stand by what I wrote. If you where to re-read it you'll see where I said i am filling in here cause I wasn't at the Gilbert home, Or I know this because Kyle told me so The other victim in the car who did survive to tell the TRUTH about what happened. So as far as your statement goes I sure hope Ken post my responce to you mr./ms. Anonymous....

Apr 12, 2009

2nd part of 1st comment
by: Anonymous

I think maybe you have have some (allot) of tied up anger issues. A doctor might be a good idea for you I have already started that process, and thank you it's working very well.Did ur brother have any kids? Mine had Two. I havent been able to see them, talk,write, call, them since June"06". Why because my brothers widow wants it that way. So please don't tell me you know how I feel. You don't have ONE clue as to how I feel. I will not ever pray for the driver who killed my brother nor do I forgive him. He is a (4) Four time repete offender, thats right 4 duii's. Do you think he still deserves for giveness, Not a chance on this earth. Yes my brother made his biggest mistake that night of Jan 14th 2006 by getting into that car with such a drunk person, but my brother also paid the ultimate price.... DEATH.... At least the driver of the car will get out in 15 yrs and be able to start all over. Create a family if so chooses, have kids, go back to school(if he isn't already), Get to reconnect with his family and siblings and so many more things my brother will never get to do. I will never see, talk, call, visit with my brother again or his kids, that goes for our whole side of the family. So before you go and think you know what I am feeling or should be feeling or should be writing maybe you outta know me and my tragidy before you speak of me in the way you did. By the way, what have you done to prevent anyone else from dying due to alcohol??? I have joined MADD Yes My family and myself have opened a new first time chapter in our county, I speak at the duii confrences, I speack at adapt, at our diversion once a month where they show the gory movies about what can happen if you drink & drive or ride. I have gone out on 3 different duii saturations in the last 2 yrs, so please tell me now that I have not moved forward just a bit from my very first comment on what happened to my brother on my 35th B'Day!!!!! Yes by the way you have angered me to a point I don't like to be at anymore. It's people like you who have even lost one of your own siblings and still find fault in others and how they choose to grieve. no two deaths are the same and no 2 people will grieve the same or for the same amount of time. Some will forgive and move on quick and others struggle just to get threw each new day. I can tell you you moved on pretty quick, thats great for you. I think our brothers deaths were very different from each other... If you even have a deceaced brother.

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Apr 12, 2009
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Submitted by: Anonymous

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I think maybe you have have some (allot) of tied up anger issues. A doctor might be a good idea for you I have already started that process, and thank you it's working very well.Did ur brother have any kids? Mine had Two. I havent been able to see them, talk,write, call, them since June"06". Why because my brothers widow wants it that way. So please don't tell me you know how I feel. You don't have ONE clue as to how I feel. I will not ever pray for the driver who killed my brother nor do I forgive him. He is a (4) Four time repete offender, thats right 4 duii's. Do you think he still deserves for giveness, Not a chance on this earth. Yes my brother made his biggest mistake that night of Jan 14th 2006 by getting into that car with such a drunk person, but my brother also paid the ultimate price.... DEATH.... At least the driver of the car will get out in 15 yrs and be able to start all over. Create a family if so chooses, have kids, go back to school(if he isn't already), Get to reconnect with his family and siblings and so many more things my brother will never get to do. I will never see, talk, call, visit with my brother again or his kids, that goes for our whole side of the family. So before you go and think you know what I am feeling or should be feeling or should be writing maybe you outta know me and my tragidy before you speak of me in the way you did. By the way, what have you done to prevent anyone else from dying due to alcohol??? I have joined MADD Yes My family and myself have opened a new first time chapter in our county, I speak at the duii confrences, I speack at adapt, at our diversion once a month where they show the gory movies about what can happen if you drink & drive or ride. I have gone out on 3 different duii saturations in the last 2 yrs, so please tell me now that I have not moved forward just a bit from my very first comment on what happened to my brother on my 35th B'Day!!!!! Yes by the way you have angered me to a point I don't like to be at anymore. It's people like you who have even lost one of your own siblings and still find fault in others and how they choose to grieve. no two deaths are the same and no 2 people will grieve the same or for the same amount of time. Some will forgive and move on quick and others struggle just to get threw each new day. I can tell you you moved on pretty quick, thats great for you. I think our brothers deaths were very different from each other... If you even have a deceaced brother.

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Apr 12, 2009

more from the 1st comment
by: Anonymous

Dear Anonymous, As you know My Name is Lorri. Yes my brother David was killed by a drunk driver and yes it does hurt, it hurts like hell. It has just been over 3 yrs for me and my family. I think what you wrote was way out a line! You do not know me or my family or how we grieve. You do not know any of the circumstances surrounding the crash or the B.S. that came afterwards. No I was not in the car, I did not need to be. The surviving victim was all I needed to get most of my information the rest of it came from the D.A. and the P.I. The autopsy, the accident reconstructionist The drunk driver himself while he was drunk and talking his normal B.S. I am really offended that you would act so christian like saying how you and your family are praying for the person who killed ur brother but you have the nerve to blast me for my fellings.

Apr 12, 2009

Different death different feelings!!!!!!!!
by: Lorri standley

Dear Anonymous, As you know My Name is Lorri. Yes my brother David was killed by a drunk driver and yes it does hurt, it hurts like hell. It has just been over 3 yrs for me and my family. I think what you wrote was way out a line! You do not know me or my family or how we grieve. You do not know any of the circumstances surrounding the crash or the B.S. that came afterwards. No I was not in the car, I did not need to be. The surviving victim was all I needed to get most of my information the rest of it came from the D.A. and the P.I. The autopsy, the accident reconstructionist The drunk driver himself while he was drunk and talking his normal B.S. I am really offended that you would act so christian like saying how you and your family are praying for the person who killed ur brother but you have the nerve to blast me for my fellings. I think maybe you have have some (allot) of tied up anger issues. A doctor might be a good idea for you I have already started that process, and thank you it's working very well.Did ur brother have any kids? Mine had Two. I havent been able to see them, talk,write, call, them since June"06". Why because my brothers widow wants it that way. So please don't tell me you know how I feel. You don't have ONE clue as to how I feel. I will not ever pray for the driver who killed my brother nor do I forgive him. He is a (4) Four time repete offender, thats right 4 duii's. Do you think he still deserves for giveness, Not a chance on this earth. Yes my brother made his biggest mistake that night of Jan 14th 2006 by getting into that car with such a drunk person, but my brother also paid the ultimate price.... DEATH.... At least the driver of the car will get out in 15 yrs and be able to start all over. Create a family if so chooses, have kids, go back to school(if he isn't already), Get to reconnect with his family and siblings and so many more things my brother will never get to do. I will never see, talk, call, visit with my brother again or his kids, that goes for our whole side of the family. So before you go and think you know what I am feeling or should be feeling or should be writing maybe you outta know me and my tragidy before you speak of me in the way you did. By the way, what have you done to prevent anyone else from dying due to alcohol??? I have joined MADD Yes My family and myself have opened a new first time chapter in our county, I speak at the duii confrences, I speack at adapt, at our diversion once a month where they show the gory movies about what can happen if you drink & drive or ride. I have gone out on 3 different duii saturations in the last 2 yrs, so please tell me now that I have not moved forward just a bit from my very first comment on what happened to my brother on my 35th B'Day!!!!! Yes by the way you have angered me to a point I don't like to be at anymore.

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Apr 12, 2009
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Submitted by: Lorri standley

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Dear Anonymous, As you know My Name is Lorri. Yes my brother David was killed by a drunk driver and yes it does hurt, it hurts like hell. It has just been over 3 yrs for me and my family. I think what you wrote was way out a line! You do not know me or my family or how we grieve. You do not know any of the circumstances surrounding the crash or the B.S. that came afterwards. No I was not in the car, I did not need to be. The surviving victim was all I needed to get most of my information the rest of it came from the D.A. and the P.I. The autopsy, the accident reconstructionist The drunk driver himself while he was drunk and talking his normal B.S. I am really offended that you would act so christian like saying how you and your family are praying for the person who killed ur brother but you have the nerve to blast me for my fellings. I think maybe you have have some (allot) of tied up anger issues. A doctor might be a good idea for you I have already started that process, and thank you it's working very well.Did ur brother have any kids? Mine had Two. I havent been able to see them, talk,write, call, them since June"06". Why because my brothers widow wants it that way. So please don't tell me you know how I feel. You don't have ONE clue as to how I feel. I will not ever pray for the driver who killed my brother nor do I forgive him. He is a (4) Four time repete offender, thats right 4 duii's. Do you think he still deserves for giveness, Not a chance on this earth. Yes my brother made his biggest mistake that night of Jan 14th 2006 by getting into that car with such a drunk person, but my brother also paid the ultimate price.... DEATH.... At least the driver of the car will get out in 15 yrs and be able to start all over. Create a family if so chooses, have kids, go back to school(if he isn't already), Get to reconnect with his family and siblings and so many more things my brother will never get to do. I will never see, talk, call, visit with my brother again or his kids, that goes for our whole side of the family. So before you go and think you know what I am feeling or should be feeling or should be writing maybe you outta know me and my tragidy before you speak of me in the way you did. By the way, what have you done to prevent anyone else from dying due to alcohol??? I have joined MADD Yes My family and myself have opened a new first time chapter in our county, I speak at the duii confrences, I speack at adapt, at our diversion once a month where they show the gory movies about what can happen if you drink & drive or ride. I have gone out on 3 different duii saturations in the last 2 yrs, so please tell me now that I have not moved forward just a bit from my very first comment on what happened to my brother on my 35th B'Day!!!!! Yes by the way you have angered me to a point I don't like to be at anymore.

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Apr 11, 2009

What are you doing???
by: Anonymous

My brother was killed in a drinking and driving accident also so i feel your pain......But were you in the car? there is no way to know all that detail unless you were in the car. and also you go on and on about these peoples lives saying personal things that are not even related to what happend....Maybe you should go see a dr. this would have been a good blog but man you are going over the top and making it not about your brother. let him rest in peace and it dont make sence to me what you are trying to do....also it dont matter what the blood alcohol was in them guys because drinking and driving is drinking and driving no matter what. It also dont make sense that If your brother had the least amount of alcohol and he still got in the car????? that is a little strange to blog all this...I would clean it up and make it for your brother not all this other crap that no one cares about. When my brother was killed The driver got 5 years and also has to live with what he did but my family prayed for the driver also. what i just read is wrong and obbssesive

Dec 13, 2007

Drinking and Driving
by: Tambreshia Polk

I don't think they should srink while they need to drive home if it was me if i be drinking at a friend house i woulld just stay all night to the next day. My mom always told me don't get in a car with a friend that has been drinking or smoking

Oct 29, 2007

from lorri standley on brother david west
by: Anonymous

IT'S COMING UP ON TWO YRS SINCE MY BROTHERS DEATH, WOW. SOMETIMES IT STILL FEELS LIKE TESTERDAY AND OTHER TIMES IT FEELS LIKE 23 MONTHS. I DO BELIEVE I MISS MY BROTHER MORE NOW THEN WHEN IT FIRST HAPPENED. I CANT PRETEND ANYMORE THAT DAVID IS OUT OF TOWN WORKING, I CANT PRETEND ANYMORE THAT HE IS GONE FOR TWO WEEKS HUNTING, I CANT PRETEND ANYMORE ANYTHING. MY BROTHER IS DEAD, DEAD AND GONE. NEVER COMING FOME TO ME OR OUR FAMILY. HE HAS LEFT US WITH SUCH A MESS. SO MANY QUESTIONS, ALL THE WHAT IF'S, ALL THE WHY'S, ALL THE WOULD OF COULD SHOULD OF'S WILL NEVER CHANGE THE FACT THAT MY BROTHER CHOOSE TO GET A RIDE WITH A DRUNK DRIVER... MY LIFE HAS BEEEN UPSIDE DOWN, INSIDE OUT, AND TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL WITH ALL KINDS OF WHAT IF THOUGHTS. WHY DID GOD TAKE MY BROTHER ON MY B'DAY? DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG? IF ONLY I WOULD OF WENT TO THE COAST 4 MY B'DAY ALL THREE OF MY BROTHERS WERE GONNA GO, BUT I SAID NO, SO DID DAVID, WHERE DID IT GET HIM, DEAD. I CANT HELP BUT FEEL A LITTLE RESPONSIABLE. I THINK I KNOW IT'S NOT MY FAULT BUT I DO PLAY THE WHAT IF GAME WITH MYSELF WHEN I'M DOWN AND OUT, AS I AM NOW. I LOVE AND MISS YOU DAVID A. WEST WITH MY WHOLE HEART AND SOUL, YOUR BIG SISTER, LORRI STANDLEY.
IN LOVING MEMORY OF DAVID A. WEST PLEASE DONT DRINK AND RIDE OR DRIVE.........

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