living with what if's.....i was the driver please read

by Melissa M.

I am a mother of 3, and at 30 yrs old had never been in trouble for anything before. well on october 18th,2008 i got a wake up call. that night i had went out with my brother and some long time friends. we all went to a bar that night, as we left i dropped 2 of the boys off, it was me my brother and good friend in the car, my brother wanted to go to his girlfriends house about 10 miles away. i didnt really want to but wanting to be the person that made everyone happy i decided to make a really bad and horrible choice to drive him there. Well we were only about 4 miles from her house when i seen the red and blue lights in the rear view mirror i was so scared, but i deserved to be scared. when he pulled me over he said i was speeding and apparently smelled the alcohol on us. he pulled me out the car where he gave me a few tests, which i failed terribly. then a breathalizer which read a BAC of.22 i started crying and thinking about my kids and the stupid choice i had made and what was going to happen next. they impounded my car, took my brother and my friend to his girlfriends being it was so close. i was taken to jail where i was strip searched and put into a blanket with velcrow cause i was so upset with myself i said i wanted to die. so i was then finger printed and put into a watch room for suicide. there was no mat to lay on or seat, just a hard concrete floor that was filthy, i spent the next day getting sick and throwing up, they came and got me to do some paper work and i was so upset with myself i HATED myself, that the officers who were taking my info had told me to lay off myself, everyone makes mistakes and as long as i learned from it, it was going to be ok, but that it would be a very expensive and long lesson learned. i just cried, still so upset with myself. all i could think about was what if i had killed myself and left my kids motherless over a horrible choice i had made. or what if i had killed my brother or his friend and cut their lives short? and what about all the innocent people who were going about their night and were on the road sober and responsible, what if i had taken one of them away from this earth? a mother?father?brother or sister? someones baby or family member?. its hard to live with myself now, its almost as if i had killed someone or hurt someone, i am SO very thankful to officer stone who pulled me over and probably saved some innocent persons life or mine and my friends and familys life. He was the hero that night and i thank him everyday in my prayers for that. I worry now everyday about someone else hiting me or my family driving drunk, its opened my eyes and ive learned a very important and valuable lesson that night. as i read the stories of families and friends lost to drunk drivers i am ashamed of myself and the choice i made that night, im just thankful that god let me stay here and kept everyone safe. i go on now preaching to others and tryin to get the word out about how important it is NOT TO DRINK AND DRIVE! it could change the lives and effect the familes on both sides. i thank you all for your stories and time reading this i pray the victims families find peace one day, and the ones that think about driving while drinking will make a better choice after reading this and just stay home or call a friend or cab. god bless all the victims and familes effected by drunk drivers!

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Oct 15, 2009
Me Too
by: Anonymous

Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you know how lucky you are to not have killed or injured yourself and others. On the other hand I wasn't so lucky to just be pulled over. I took a life one aweful night and I will be paying for it the rest of my life. If you want to hear my story go to Thank you so much.

Aug 08, 2009
I was a driver to
by: Anonymous

I too am living with alot of "What If's". I also
received a Dui and relive each moment like it was
yesterday. I spent time in jail paid a heavy fine
and give a message to those who drink and drive.
I often hear people complain about receiving a
Dui if you have received one it cannot possible be
anything "bad" if you did not seriously injure or
kill someone. For my bad decisions I could have
easily made someone lose something very valuable.
I too am gald about the wake up call i received
and still continue to go to AA.
Thanks for letting me share.

Apr 28, 2009
Thank you
by: Suzanne

Maybe we wouldn't be reading all the other stories if more people were like you...My husband was killed by a drunk driver that was notoriously known around town as the "Town Drunk" of course we didn't live in the town my husband was killed in, and the "town drunk" wasn't a US citizen so, guess what he did....Yeap, ran back home to his own country to be the TOWN DRUNK over there...I wish he would have realized...God Bless you, you should tell your story to high school kids, or anyone that will listen is just fine as well....

Apr 27, 2009
Thank you
by: Deb

Thank you for your words of remorse. I wish more drunk drivers came to their senses as you did. So many times we hear how a drunk driver caused a crash killing someone, only to find out it was not their first or even second offense. Thank you - from someone who lost a niece to a drunk driver.

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