My Brother Cody Vaughn 6/2/11 R.I.P C.M.V
by Ashley Wells
I remember sitting at home watching buffy the vampire slayer when my dad had recieved a phone call that my brother has been in a wreck,
i wasn't susspecting it to be death related- i just thought he was gonna be badly injured, as i went to the incedent i was a bit worried
i had fear that i would lose my brother.. i hadn't spoken to him in like too weeks, so i dont even remember my last words. i only remember the last
thing we did together, which was playing the wii. to be more specific we played "Bowling on the wii" and i got my butt wooped. as i was standing there on
the burning concrete , listening to kids and adults crying, i really felt sadness and shockness in my heart. i remember thinking "What if he really is gone"
"how will i live without my enemy?" "will my life change?" "Will i do something bad because of this?" "will i be able to be strong?" this was some of the thoughts
that popped into my head. as i watched vehicles and more rescue type of squads pull up, i eventually began to cry, ive never been in a situation i was in a
shock, ive never lost someone where i was old enough to understand. i lost my grandparents when i was really young, like REALLY young, and i didn't
know what death was.
there was about 2 ambulances there, and 4 people invovled in this wreck,Keith and his passanger, My brother and his passanger Jacob.once a coroner arrived
i just new he was gone, thats when it really hit me, but ive never been in this situatuion so i didnt fall to the ground like most people.
i was just frozen, shocked in time, like i wasn't gonna move on.. like i was frozen forever.a few tears did fall from my eyes, but i couldn't find myself
into crying like a little baby, i wanted to be strong, i was just so shocked that he really was gone. when the coroner approved that it was him
that had died, thats when i finally broke down. my mom down to the gravel, the hard painful rocks jabbed into her knee's, she was frightened, she always
wonders "What have i done so bad that god has taken away 2 of my kids?" in my opinopin i think she always wonders "all i have is ashley, what if i
lose her too?" as she lay there on the tough gravel, im sitting in the car starring deeply at the seat in shock. my stomache was twisting and turning.
i could smell the ash, and the dirt, and the freshly cut grass nearby. the ash was from the wreck. I kept hearing people arriving, but no body leaving.
there was 3 helicopters invovled, one for jacob, who
ended up being damaged in the head, one for keith, the driver who murdered my brother. Keith's passanger,
his girlfriend, in the 3rd.people were hugging one another all day long, sometimes it continued for the next day. as i sat at my grandma's on the
blue rough carpet in her bedroom in the dark, i just sat there wondering is anyone gonna comfort me or am i just gonna sit here shocked?
finally, my mom came to me and comforted me after hours. the next day, i began to be sick, i was vomiting all day long continueing almost a whole week
the taste of the vomit was disgusting,the acid was burning my throat, my stomache was twisitng and turning, i sware i think i lost 50 pounds that week.
it took me a while to move on and stop worrying about things, it took atleast 3 to 4 months before i could actually go a day without thinking of him, but
i do think about him atleast 1 day a week. i wish he would have made it to 19, i mean he died to close to his birthdate. i still wonder why god took him
away when he has children HE needs to take care of.The kids don't need to grow up with a father. ever since he died, i wonder about the kids, i wish i could
just adopt Haleigh, cody's daughter, 2 years old as my own, if i could i would, she's all i think about now a days, and him of course.when see her face
i think of him because they look so much alike, and they make me a bit happier, that some part of him is still here, sometimes i wonder if his sitting right
here watching me write this Right now.i think he is here haunting us for laughs,at night, with all the lights off i feel as if he is standing right there
overtop of me, sometimes it puts a smile on my face.
i wish he was still here,i had so many curioisty of how we would be when we was adults, and i lost the chance to find out on febuary 6,2011.
highway 360, Nightmare Road. after a while, we decided to , well kayleigh, his fiancee, decided to put a small cross up where his death had happened.
i liked this idea. putting up with the funural was hard,i couldnt go up to the body, i didnt want to, i knew he wasn't in that body so whats the point. so
i just sat back and chilled in the chair, eventually i had enough gut to go up there but it made me cry. watching everyone else crying, made me cry more.
i just want to punch the walls, i need something or someone to punish for this act. i want him back, but it won' t happen.