MY BROTHER WAS THE DRIVER

by reid
(San Antonio Tx)

I want to start off by saying i am so sorry for eveyones loss i understand in so many ways how you feel. My story is about my brother jesse he was the best and it took his passing for me to realize how much i need him and how great of a big brother he was. My brother left behind his two beautiful children ages 12 and 11. he left behind my mom who not only was his mother but his bestfreind and also me and my older 3 brothers jesse was the oldest out of the 5 children. the day my brother died was the worst day of my life. It was fiesta time in are great old city everyone parties enjoys the festival its very exciting to be in are city around that time. It was APRIL 24,2009 when my family life changed. My brother called me around 8 o'clock pm saying hey are you coming to fiesta tonight and i told him no i had too work i didnt know that would of been the last time i would talk to him. The night went on it was around 11:30pm when i got a frantic call from my mom screaming and yelling at me too go and find my brother she was on the phone with him and she heard him scream a very loud scream and she thinks he got in a accident. I asked what happen and she said go and look for him he said he was going to your apartment to spend a night. So i jumped out of bed and i ran downstairs to my car praying to god asking to please let my brother be okay. But deep down in my heart i knew he wasn't. i drove and drove and drove seemed like forever my other brothers were also searching the whole city for him. My mom called the police to let them know she got a call from my brother and as they were talking she heard him scream and lost the call. maybe about 30 mintues after searching my other brother called and said my found him hewas in a car accident come we dont know if he was okay. i sat there driving in denial like oh hes fine as i got to the scene. my brothers were crying my mom was kinda standing there in shock. and i remember was them telling me he is gone. and i screamed the loudest scream you can imagine. i just saw his car so messed up and he was just sitting in the car like he was asleep. He was drunk! my other brother said he saw him at the bar and he wanted to leave and my brother noticed he was kinda drunk and told him let me take you to grandmas you lived a couple of blocks down but my brother jesse being the oldest said no which lead to a agurement my brother said he went to his car to get something and when he came back jesse was gone. So my other brother was worried and called my mom and told her hey i think jesse is drunk and he took off so my mom called him and jesse just answerd and said I AM NOT DRUNK....knowing that my other brother called my mom to tell her he was drunk. And than jesse just hung up the phone. Maybe 5 minutes later jesse called my mom back and told her he was fine not too worry and that she always worried about him and that he loved her. next thing you know my mom heard him screaming. The police said he was driving the wrong way and and crashed head on with another car killing both instantly. The other driver was a 58yr old lady whom i read about and she was a lovely women so very loved and i feel sorry for her family members left behind. But my family was also left behind my brother was are rock my mother raised all 5 kids by herself my brother was 5yrs old and would walk to the store to help get my mom stuff she needed always worked to jobs to make sure his children had everything they wanted and also loved life. Are lives are not the same without him. He was also very loved so many people cam to his funeral. people knew how grat of a person he was just made a wrong decison. sometimes people writ so many negative comments about the drunk driver not even caring that their family members also read comments. And i sit here thinking everyone makes mistakes if it was the other way around i know my brother would not like my family to say ugly and hurtful things about the person who crashed into him. My brother was not a killer!!! I dont care what other people think of him. My family and god knows the truth! and thats all that matters. So i write my story to let people know not all drunk drivers are killers they are people who make wrong decisions in life.

Comments for MY BROTHER WAS THE DRIVER

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Jan 09, 2014
I have good news and bad news
by: Anonymous

I posted my story about the fear that I had for my brother over a year ago and now I am posting the good news that my brother has now been sober for 7 months and much happier. He has taken responsibility and control of this disease of alcoholism. I am so very proud of him and my heart is blessed.
On a sad note, I now have an 18 year old son that has ventured in that same scary direction. He has been experimenting a lot with alcohol lately and recently got a DWI. I thought that maybe that would have made him think a little and change his ways, but 2 weeks ago I got the scariest phone call of my life at 3:30 in the morning. I thought my son was asleep in his bed but he had not come home yet and I was told that he was seen at a motel, very intoxicated, underage, and he was missing one of his shoes. He wanted to use the phone and apparently the desk clerk told him she was calling the police and he darted out the door. The temperature outside was 17 below with a wind chill temp of 35 below zero and he had no hat, no gloves and missing one of his shoes and very drunk. I searched for him for over 3 hours, the police searched, the ambulance was called and searching and the fire department was out searching too, along with me and his older sisters. I finally found him, very cold, half asleep, heart rate was beating so fast and his blood pressure was through the roof. His body was shutting down. The ambulance took him to the hospital and thank God that he is now okay and did not lose any limbs or his life. He couldn't walk on his feet for over 2 weeks, he had frost bite and I am so scared that he STILL has not learned from this. I pray to God that he will watch over and protect him and protect others as well. It looks like I have to go through this all again. I hate this terrible disease and I wish I could put him in treatment, but since he is 18, they say I can't commit him to treatment. He still lives at home and I still pay for him, take care of him, etc..., but they won't let me help him! It really sucks! Any advice would be appreciated, not mean comments please, I need someone to care.

Jan 08, 2014
Anybody out there
by: Anonymous

My brother was under the influence of alcohol and drugs and killed an 8 year old girl and her 28 year old mother. He was charged with double murder and is serving 30+ years for it. I know that I am not responsible but it has been 2 years now and I still can't let it go. I think about the girls often and what they may have been like (as my wife and oldest daughter are the same ages) and it keeps me up constantly because this was my little brother. The thing that really gets me is that he was brain damaged in an accident 9 years before, had to learn how to walk, talk and be human all over again. For those of you that have ever had to pray for a loved one at a hospital with a Chaplin bc the loved one was not going to make it might understand. I know the family of the victims are heartbroken and will never be the same but how do I handle this? What can I do to put this behind me? Selfish on my part I guess but this occupies way to much space in my head and I just can't get past it. Please any advice would be appreciated

Apr 06, 2013
Brother is a killer
by: Anonymous

Sorry for your loss. My brother was also driving drunk when he died. Fortunately he took only his own life. But if he had taken someone else with him, he certainly would have been a killer. Drinking and driving is not a mistake...it's murder.

Mar 24, 2012
Sorry the truth be said
by: Anonymous

i lost a niece age 9 to drunk driving and her uncle as well. the driver is a killer all he had to do was stay home a mistake that changed lives forever we will never get to see her grow her uncle was 18 he had so many drems that we will never see be fullfilled. he made the choice to drink and drive because of his selfish irresponsibile stupid mistake the woman he killed was someones mother daughter aunt grandmother.... the driver in my case i wished it could have been his life taken instead of the 2 innocent young lives he stole.

Feb 26, 2012
So very Scared to get that Dreadful heartbreaking phone call
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for the loss of your brother, it touched me deeply because I have a little brother that I am so very worried about. He drinks and drives all the time and I am so afraid to get that phone call letting me know that I lost my only brother that I love so very much. We(my whole family, his wife, his aunts and uncles have all tried to talk to him. He is the most caring person when he is sober and loving father of two beautiful girls and he has so much going for him. I know that if he was in an accident and killed someone else, it was ruin his life in a way that he would want to be the one to die, but I don't want anyone to die and I have no idea how to help him. Alcoholism is a sickness, its a disease and yes, not all drunk driving is due to alcoholim, but in his case, it is and he needs help. I disagree that drunk drivers are making a conscious decision! They are not making a decision that they are aware of most of the time. They are drunk and some are even in total blackouts when they get in the vehicle to drive.They are not murderers, they are drunk people that make bad decisions that they would only make because they are intoxicated and NOT thinking straight. I am so very sorry for everyone that has lost someone in a drunk driving accident, they ALL are victims in my eyes. The drunk driver is a victim of a deadly disease and they do not get help by sitting in jail, they need mandatory treatment and for those that killed someone, need counseling even more. Those that know someone is drunk and let them drive away are also guilty. I know that it is no one's responsibilty to babysit a drunk person, but if more loved ones and friends would stop them ( I don't care if ya gotta hit em over the head) stop them. I never have let my brother drive away drunk, but I am not always there and that scares the hell out of me. I don't want to get a phone call saying my brother is dead or that someone else is dead and my brother is going to prison. It is a serious disease that needs to be addressed. Pot is illegal, alcohol should be illegal too in my eyes. Alcohol is the killer!
God Bless all who is as worried and heart broken as I am.

Sep 27, 2011
A mistake
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry that you lost your brother. And yes, he made a mistake. And he still is a killer, a murderer. He made a choice to drive after drinking. It was a concsious decicion, no one forced him to get behind the wheel and drive. Your other brother eaven tried to stop him. It does not matter what the situation is or how nice a person a drunk driver is. The fact remains that they make a choice weather to drive or not. It is murder, premeditated murder actually because they know it's dangerous and could end up in tragedy.

May 09, 2011
After two years
by: Anonymous

Hello im the sister who wrote about my brother.
After two years have gone by since i shared my story. And its still hard my saddness turned into anger for my brother.. i miss him everyday my family and his children miss him. I live in a city were drinking and driving happens every dam week two or three at a time so many innocent people are dieing and it saddns me how this city is not doin anything to fix this major issue. All i know is yes i was selfish and was upset that my brother was gone and not caring what he did all i wanted was him back i still want him back but im upset that he did this to our family and how life is slowly moving on without him it just aint fair life isnt fair. I was driving to work two days ago and i saw this huge accident on the freeway as i came in to work i got online to see what happen.. 30 min before i left and got into my car a 21yr old girl was drunk and driving the wrong way killing her self and injuring two other innocent people, and that freaked me out!! If i would of left just a lil bit earlier that could of been me. So i wrote today because i read your comments and thank you for giving me the time to read my story! Peace and love....

Aug 26, 2010
your brother
by: Anonymous

I feel more sorry for the 58yr old woman who was killed by your brothers irresponsibility. I'm sure your brother was a nice guy. Taking a innocent life by drinking and driving is not a mistake,it murder. Its the same as taking a loaded gun and firing it into a crowd. I have lost such a good person and have seen the devastation a drunk driver causes by murdering and innocent person.

Feb 02, 2010
sorry for your lost
by: Anonymous

i am so sorry that happen to you.

Nov 04, 2009
SORRY FOR YOU LOSS
by: Suzanne In Connecticut

HEY REID,

FIRST I'D LIKE TO SAY I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO SAY, NOT EVERYONE THINKS THAT THE DRUNK DRIVER IS A "KILLER" I THINK EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT....THESE POSTING ARE FOR ACCIDENT VICTIMS TO TELL A STORY...THEIR STORY...MY STORY IS...MY HUSBAND WAS KILLED BY A DRUNK DRIVER THAT FLED THE COUNTRY...NOW WOULDN'T YOU AGREE, THIS WAS SOMEONE THAT DIDN'T WANT TO TAKE RESPONSIBLITY FOR WHAT HE DID...BY NOT TAKING RESPONSIBLITY HE BECAME A KILLER...YOUR BROTHER, GOD REST HIS SOUL, MADE A MISTAKE...AND YES HORRIBLE AS IT IS, HE PAID THE ULTIMATE PRICE FOR A MISTAKE...YOUR BROTHER...TOOK RESPONSIBLITY FOR HIS ACTIONS THAT NIGHT...I'M SURE YOUR FAMILY IS DEVASTATED...THE MAN THAT KILLED MY HUSBAND...HIS FAMILY COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE BUT HOW TO GET HIM OUT OF THE COUNTRY..WOULDN'T YOU BE BITTER IF THIS WAS AS YOU SAY THE OTHER WAY AROUND...I UNDERSTAND AND FEEL YOUR LOSS, UNDERSTAND EVERY STORY IS DIFFERENT...AND SOMETIMES, THE DRIVER IS REFERRED TO AS A KILLER FOR GOOD REASON...WHAT THIS WEBSITE IS, IS TO BRING AWARNESS TO PEOPLE THE EFFECTS OF DRINKING AND DRIVING....SO YOUR STORY TELLS ME 2 MORE LIVES WHERE LOST BECAUSE OF IT...THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR STORY...AND I HOPE YOU FEEL A LITTLE BETTER ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK...

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