Not Yet - But he will hurt someone soon

by susan

I wanted to write this note for everyone to know that I have a husband who drove home drunk tonight and told me it was my fault. He went to a football game, took public transit and then got in his car and drove to a restaurant and then home. He was slurring his words and there was no doubt he was drunk. What did I do? Well I wanted to lock him out of the house but I couldn't. I did not know I married an alcoholic but now I do. I have confronted him, shamed him, given him ultimatums and nothing works. So even though he has not hurt anyone yet, I am writing to you all to say I don't know what else to do. If he ever does get caught I am leaving him in jail.

Comments for Not Yet - But he will hurt someone soon

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Jul 13, 2011
My husband did hurt someone

I didn't know my husband had a problem with drinking till after we were married. He has destroyed many lives because of his foolishness. He was also an abusive drunk, I used to get hit all the time when he was drunk which was only 3 times per week. I found the courage to leave him. I let him have one of our cars and I signed the title over to him. Well about 9 months after that it was a raining night in Aug 2006 that so many lives were destroyed. My soon to be ex husband committed the most horrific thing. He ran over a 80 year old man, who for some reason in a ditch pulling weeds. The monster who hit this man fled the accident. The victims family didn't blame me, but I sure feel like its my fault. I should have done something to stop his drinking. I asked over and over again from him parents to help me with him and his drinking, but they encouraged his drinking. He is now sitting in prison for 35 years. To be honest with you I am happy he is there because of all the hell he has caused others and myself. You can't force anyone to get help specially if they don't think they have a problems. So my advise it leave, leave before he takes your life. I have lost everything because of this monster, just as that family who lost a husband, father, brother and uncle. Please think about moving on, and leaving him.

Feb 12, 2011
I understand your plight

My husband is guilty of drinking and driving as well. He's completely totaled our car and his story has changed to 'I was driving bad because I was so angry' to 'I leaned down to pick up a cigarette that fell, and didn't catch the turn in time" I've caught him stumbling in on several occations, and argued with him relentlessly because of it. We even had to call the police out one night when he was getting violent and breaking things. I've begged and pleaded for him to hold the alcohol until he got home, but nothing sank in. It has been a long, dark road, but he's come home sober all week so far, and I can only hope he keeps it up. I had to explain to him how I would not tolerate him ignoring the one request I had of him, to drink at home, and at home only. How there were no more chances, come home sober, or not at all. I supported him for his successes, but the hard part will be holding to the concequences if he does break my one rule. I hope for all of our sakes that he stays straight, and that you find peace and success with your situation.

Nov 15, 2010
by: Suzanne

Hi Susan,

Maybe your husband should read the stories on this webpage...maybe if he saw the pain that is inflected on the victims and there family and friends, maybe he'd understand the importance of not drinking and driving. In the mean time, I guess we just pray....If you need more information on drinking and driving, contact MADD...Thank you for posting your concerns...Good luck, drinking and driving is just another version of Russian Ruelet

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