Tina Bates, Clinton Township MI. 2/23/59-08/06/11
by Brittany Green
(Harrison Township, MI)
my mother and I a few years ago
My mother, Tina Bates, was killed by a drunk driver on August 6th 2011 at 8:06pm. The drunk driver crossed two lanes of traffic on Groesbeck Highway and hit my mother head on; she died instantly. My mother was 1 driveway away from her street, with her two small dogs in the car. She was almost home, less than a minute of driving and she would have been home. Her two dogs survived the wreck after being banged up quite a bit. She had just left from visiting my grandmother, whom she was very close with. I was extremely close with my mother, she was my best friend.. my number one person to go to for anything. We had no secrets and no topic was considered "too much". We shared everything. My mother and I talked every day, whether it be over the telephone, in person of via text. That day, we only spoke via text because I had planned on calling her later that evening after a graduation party I was attending, this fact bothered me quite a lot up until recently. The day of the accident will always be the worst day of my entire life. From the moment I got the awful phone call telling me she had been in an accident, my life was never the same. When I arrived to the accident scene, it was like nothing I had ever seen. Her car was terribly mangled to the point where it seemed almost surreal. I could not believe it. It all felt like a terrible awful nightmare. I just wanted to wake up from it. I dont think I have ever seen such a horrific accident.The whole street was closed and blocked off because the accident was so big. Her car was in the far left lane, traveling south bound, and ended up on the far right, on a lawn of a banquet hall. The impact moved her car so far. Her car was barely recognizable. I did not see her at the scene. I did not want to honestly. I couldnt handle it. I just started crying and repeating "thats my moms car" to the police officer over and over again. I had tried speed walking towards her car when I initially arrived at the scene, but a police officer stopped me before I could get near her car. It was considered a crime scene, so no one was allowed near the car or her. I squeezed the police officers hand so hard, because I felt like if I would have let go.. I would have fallen down or died. I just kept repeating myself, and he just kept saying "I know.. theres nothing you can do". There were so many people at the scene just looking, and watching. I got very upset and started to yell at the "gawkers" because they were staring at me as I cried.. staring at my as my world literally fell apart. I just wanted everyone to stop looking at me. I didnt stay at the scene very long. My boyfriend and I, went to my grandmothers house with the rest of my family that had gotten to the scene, such as my aunt and uncle. I walked down the street, and just sat down on the sidewalk away from everyone. I looked up and just could not seem to understand what, or why this happened. My father came and got me, and we all went home. I didnt sleep at all that night. My mind was racing with thoughts of the accident- did she see the other car coming? did she scream? did she feel it? what was her last thought?
was she mad at me for not calling her earlier that day?- I tried picturing the accident from her perspective.. it kept me up for days. The day after the accident, I laid in bed all day and cried, vomited and cried. I slept for maybe an hour in the afternoon. I didnt actually have a full nights sleep, for 2 weeks.
My mother was the most kind, giving person I knew. She went out of her way to make everyone else happy. She was loved by her co workers, friends and family. Her candle light vigil was filled with her friends who just spoke about how amazing she was. Her funeral was packed with so many people from her life. People from her past, and present. They had to find more chairs to bring into the funeral room because there were so many people there. She was loved by so many because of all the great things she did for other people. She was always smiling and happy. Her and I always got along, of course we had our occasional fights that every mother and daughter have.. but all in all we were best friends. She was loved by so many people.. so many peoples hearts were broken that day.
It is all so unfair that my mother was killed by someone who was selfish, and immature and decided to drive a car while intoxicated. The woman who killed my mother was the same age as my mother, 52, old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. My life will never be the same. I have such a hard time grasping the concept that I will never be able to speak to my mother ever again.. that I will never be able to see her ever again. Whenever I get excited, or happy over something, the first thing that pops into my head is "I should call my mom", and then I remember that I can not do so, and become deeply depressed. There has been a couple times where I actually started calling my mom with out realizing that she is gone. It hurts me tremendously when I do that. I think about my mom every day, especially when I am driving or doing something that allows me to think freely. I even catch myself saying aloud "I miss my mom". Sometimes, I will get random urges to cry and most of the time I am irritated or angry. I never want to go out with my friends anymore, or do anything really. I just like to sit at home because nothing makes me happy anymore. My mother did everything she could for me my entire life, and for that I am grateful. My mom always made a big deal about my birthday, sweetest day, valentines day, and christmas. Basically any day that she could buy me something, she would always make it big. This year, those holidays will be the hardest with out her. I wont have her around to be excited, and decorate her apartment. She always went all out when it came to Christmas and Halloween. She even decorated for valentines day, St Patricks day and Thanksgiving. It is going to be depressing. It will be hard knowing that I wont get my birthday phone call where she sings to me, or my goofy card that I get every year. No more penguin themed presents. No more I love yous, XOs or lipstick kisses on cards or notes.
My life will never be the same. There will always be a void that, will never get filled.
On August 6th 2011, my world shifted.
Drunk driving ruins lives. http://www.wxyz.com/dpp/homepage_showcase/breaking-news:--deadly-crash-in-clinton-township-